A lot goes into caring for an aging loved one with growing medical needs. Whether you are just beginning to provide more care, planning for the future or have been caretaking for a while, we’re here to help connect you to the local advice and resources you need.

Securing medical preferences

One of the most important things you can do for your loved one is to ensure their medical preferences are known and honored.

To do that, we recommend:

Naming their health care agent

Naming their health care agent

A health care agent is the person assigned to make medical decisions for your loved one if they can’t speak for themselves. This may be you or another loved one. Either way, you need to officially name your loved one’s health care agent so doctors and hospitals know who to call if and when the time comes. In Howard County, we recommend using the free online tool, MyDirectives, to name an agent.

It’s easy (you can name an agent online in minutes), supported by Howard County General Hospital and Maryland Hospital Association and makes your loved one’s health care agent decision available to all Howard County doctors and hospitals.

Name Health Care Agent

Alternatively, you can download the paper form to name a health care agent. If you go this route, you’ll need two witnesses present to sign. Then, you’ll need to upload the completed paper form to MyDirectives so that local doctors and hospitals can access it.

Consider completing a living will

Consider completing a living will

Another tough, but truly beneficial step is to have your loved one consider completing a living will. A living will lists the details of the type of treatment they would want in specific end-of-life situations (for example, if they are in a coma and the doctors do not expect that they will wake up). Living wills state treatment preferences such as if your loved one would like machines to help them breathe, or if they would like medications to help them manage pain.

MyDirectives also allows you to complete a living will for free (what they call, an  “advance directive”). The site lets you state preferences on attempts at CPR (similar to Do Not Resuscitate Orders) and wishes in regards to organ donation and autopsy. Get started here


Tip: Alternatively, your loved one can fill out Maryland’s free paper living will form here. Then, either you or they will need to upload it to MyDirectives to ensure local doctors and hospitals can access it. 

Get clarity on the kind of care your loved one wants

Get clarity on the kind of care your loved one wants

Talking about end-of-life care can be intimidating – but it leads to the type of understanding that you and your family need to avoid stress and conflict. To make this easier, we put together two questions that help your loved one think through the kind of care they’d want. Completing the questions is only helpful if your loved one discusses their answers with their health care agent (and/or other loved ones who should know). That way, everyone involved making decisions knows what that loved one values and wants. Other residents have found talking through these answers over lunch or a walk can give surprising clarity. 

Get Two Questions

Tip: Having a hard time initiating that chat with your health care agent? This conversation starter kit is a great resource.

Get the support you need

Caring for an aging loved one requires a lot of you. But you don’t need to do it alone.

Here are local resources that can help:

Local support groups for caregivers

Local support groups for caregivers

If you are burnt out, you won’t be able to be there for your parent. You have to take care of yourself, too. Sometimes that’s as simple as surrounding yourself with people who know what you’re going through. Here is a list of local support groups – you can find one that fits your needs best.

Find Local Caregiver Support

Get support and training on caring for yourself 

Caregivers can participate in a low-cost ($30), six week course on caring for themselves. The course covers everything from managing stress to making tough caregiver decisions. It is also a good way to connect with others facing similar situations. Learn more. 

Local assisted living, nursing homes or in-home support

Local assisted living, nursing homes or in-home support

At some point, you may need to bring in extra help – whether that be a few hours of extra helping hands or full-time professional support. Maryland Health Care Commission’s free webtool allows you to search local, trusted facilities by location and services offered. The tool lists adult day care, assisted living, home health, nursing home, and hospice facilities and you can filter by specialty areas, such as Alzheimer’s or dialysis care. 

Find Local Facilities

What if I need: 

  • Someone to check in on my loved one: Maryland’s Senior Call Check Program is a free service that places a daily telephone call to participants to make sure they are safe. Consider signing up.
  • Non-medical support (transportation, light housekeeping, companionship): Maryland’s Member Care Support Network provides free non-medical support for those experiencing a health need, such as a recent hospitalization, chronic illness or depression. Apply online or contact 410-720-8788 | hcgh-j2bh@jhmi.edu.
Help completing medical tasks for loved ones

Help completing medical tasks for loved ones

Taking on medical care tasks can be intimidating – you may not have experience doing the required tasks and you don’t want to harm your loved one.

Howard County Community College provides a home care provider training that covers everything from preventing falls and injuries in the home to medication safety.

Enroll in the Home Care Course

Tip: Always ask your loved one’s medical team to walk you through the type of care your loved one will need. If you cannot handle the task (for example, lifting your loved one out of a bathtub) tell the medical team and ask for help planning how this element of care will be covered.

 

Need emergency care help?

If you or your loved one’s primary caregiver needs to be away due to an unplanned emergency, you can apply for emergency respite care through Maryland’s Department of Human Services. Contact 410-323-1700 or ew@elizabethcooneyagency.com.

Naming their health care agent

A health care agent is the person assigned to make medical decisions for your loved one if they can’t speak for themselves. This may be you or another loved one. Either way, you need to officially name your loved one’s health care agent so doctors and hospitals know who to call if and when the time comes. In Howard County, we recommend using the free online tool, MyDirectives, to name an agent.

It’s easy (you can name an agent online in minutes), supported by Howard County General Hospital and Maryland Hospital Association and makes your loved one’s health care agent decision available to all Howard County doctors and hospitals.

Name Health Care Agent

Alternatively, you can download the paper form to name a health care agent. If you go this route, you’ll need two witnesses present to sign. Then, you’ll need to upload the completed paper form to MyDirectives so that local doctors and hospitals can access it.

Consider completing a living will

Another tough, but truly beneficial step is to have your loved one consider completing a living will. A living will lists the details of the type of treatment they would want in specific end-of-life situations (for example, if they are in a coma and the doctors do not expect that they will wake up). Living wills state treatment preferences such as if your loved one would like machines to help them breathe, or if they would like medications to help them manage pain.

MyDirectives also allows you to complete a living will for free (what they call, an  “advance directive”). The site lets you state preferences on attempts at CPR (similar to Do Not Resuscitate Orders) and wishes in regards to organ donation and autopsy. Get started here


Tip: Alternatively, your loved one can fill out Maryland’s free paper living will form here. Then, either you or they will need to upload it to MyDirectives to ensure local doctors and hospitals can access it. 

Get clarity on the kind of care your loved one wants

Talking about end-of-life care can be intimidating – but it leads to the type of understanding that you and your family need to avoid stress and conflict. To make this easier, we put together two questions that help your loved one think through the kind of care they’d want. Completing the questions is only helpful if your loved one discusses their answers with their health care agent (and/or other loved ones who should know). That way, everyone involved making decisions knows what that loved one values and wants. Other residents have found talking through these answers over lunch or a walk can give surprising clarity. 

Get Two Questions

Tip: Having a hard time initiating that chat with your health care agent? This conversation starter kit is a great resource.

Local support groups for caregivers

If you are burnt out, you won’t be able to be there for your parent. You have to take care of yourself, too. Sometimes that’s as simple as surrounding yourself with people who know what you’re going through. Here is a list of local support groups – you can find one that fits your needs best.

Find Local Caregiver Support

Get support and training on caring for yourself 

Caregivers can participate in a low-cost ($30), six week course on caring for themselves. The course covers everything from managing stress to making tough caregiver decisions. It is also a good way to connect with others facing similar situations. Learn more. 

Local assisted living, nursing homes or in-home support

At some point, you may need to bring in extra help – whether that be a few hours of extra helping hands or full-time professional support. Maryland Health Care Commission’s free webtool allows you to search local, trusted facilities by location and services offered. The tool lists adult day care, assisted living, home health, nursing home, and hospice facilities and you can filter by specialty areas, such as Alzheimer’s or dialysis care. 

Find Local Facilities

What if I need: 

  • Someone to check in on my loved one: Maryland’s Senior Call Check Program is a free service that places a daily telephone call to participants to make sure they are safe. Consider signing up.
  • Non-medical support (transportation, light housekeeping, companionship): Maryland’s Member Care Support Network provides free non-medical support for those experiencing a health need, such as a recent hospitalization, chronic illness or depression. Apply online or contact 410-720-8788 | hcgh-j2bh@jhmi.edu.

Help completing medical tasks for loved ones

Taking on medical care tasks can be intimidating – you may not have experience doing the required tasks and you don’t want to harm your loved one.

Howard County Community College provides a home care provider training that covers everything from preventing falls and injuries in the home to medication safety.

Enroll in the Home Care Course

Tip: Always ask your loved one’s medical team to walk you through the type of care your loved one will need. If you cannot handle the task (for example, lifting your loved one out of a bathtub) tell the medical team and ask for help planning how this element of care will be covered.

 

Need emergency care help?

If you or your loved one’s primary caregiver needs to be away due to an unplanned emergency, you can apply for emergency respite care through Maryland’s Department of Human Services. Contact 410-323-1700 or ew@elizabethcooneyagency.com.

Caregiving FAQs

If you’re ready to bring in professional help, you may be wondering how to choose the person or facility that will care for your loved one like you would. This checklist from AARP provides a good start.

The costs associated with caring for an aging loved one vary depending on the type of care needed and desired. Use the handy calculator on payingforseniorcare.com to see the average cost of the care your loved one needs. The site also lists financial assistance programs in Maryland. 

Conditions like Alzheimer’s and dementia require a lot of care and can leave family members feeling overwhelmed. You don’t have to go it alone. Howard County offers many resources to help residents better understand and get support around Alzheimer’s, dementia or related conditions. 

  • Search local adult day care, assisted living, home health, nursing home, and hospice facilities that list Alzheimer’s care as a specialty area. Search facilities
  • The Alzheimer’s Association partners with the Howard County Office on Aging and Independence to provide local events answering the most common questions about Alzheimer’s. See upcoming events.  
  • Johns Hopskins offers a free online course explaining what dementia is, causes, what to expect, and more. 
  • Take a virtual tour to better understand the experience of a loved one living with dementia. Register for the tour

Maryland Access Point offers a wide range of resources for aging well and caring for those who are aging.

What's Speak(easy) Howard?

The Speak(easy) Howard campaign is a Howard County initiative that helps residents think through their preferences for care, talk about them with loved ones, and name a health care agent, the person you choose to make medical decisions if you can't. The Horizon Foundation is leading the campaign along with many community partners.

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